Diablo's new adventure
by bonehead25
Summary: diablo doesn't stay dead and meats up with an unlikely enemy and friend. p-13 for violence and language, humor will come later.
1. prelude

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the stupidity

In the satanic coliseum of Hell, a heroic barbarian has conquered Diablo, the ruler of Hell, and took his soulstone. Proceeding from the depths of Hell, he traveled to Tk'ahal', the mage homeland to prove to the hierarchs he deserved eternal life. Upon arriving he presented the soulstone to the master of all elements and the other elementals who sent him upon this quest to kill Diablo.

"You have done well, young one, now give us the soulstone." The barbarian removes the stone from a pouch slung over his shoulder and tossed it to the master elemental. The Master, seeing that the stone would fall short, teleported to catch it, making it just before it would hit the floor.

"I have done as you asked, now it is time you kept up your end of the deal and grant me eternal life!" Said the barbarian greedily as the elementals were looking at the soulstone to make sure it wasn't damaged.

"You should be glad we haven't killed you already, you incompetent moron!" Turning to the other five council members, "We can't give this miscreant eternal life, let's just get rid of him now?" said the Earth Elemental.

"I agree, he would be too much of a threat to the world, he must be destroyed!" Upon saying this, the Fire Elemental hurls a meteor ten feet in diameter at the barbarian who just stands there, uninterested. Just before the meteor hit, it vanished.

Seeing her attack miss, the rest of the Elementals cast their own attacks. The Water Elemental casting Frozen Orb, Earth Elemental creating a volcano opening which the Fire Elemental used to summon lava directly toward the barbarian, the Wind Elemental created a blizzard and the Lightning Elemental summoned a thunderstorm.

While this is going on, the barbarian just stands there, yawning and scratching himself. Like the meteor, all of the attacks stopped and disappeared two inches away from the barbarian.

Once the Elementals stopped their attacks, the barbarian reached into his armor and revealed an amulet. "This thing blocks all the elemental attacks you're using, so you might want to just save your energy." At this point the Master Elemental comes out of his trance.

"I have decided to grant you your eternal life." The Master said as he began tracing runes in the air and speaking in an arcane language, finally he stretches his arms palms facing the barbarian.

"What is this! I asked for eternal life, not to be transformed into a cow!" The barbarian said angrily as the Master began tracing more runes in the air.

"I said I would give you eternal life and I did but I never said that I would let you keep your body." When the barbarian cow heard this, he attempted to exact revenge on the Master but three feet away he became trapped in a dimensional portal and was sent to another time period in another part of the world. 


	2. tristram

disclaimer: I do not own diablo, dragonlance, or anything else that will appear in this story

Finally, killing Diablo after hours of intense battle, the barbarian emerged victorious. Dropping the horadaric cube, the barbarian left thinking that it was all over.

Two houors later, Diablo awoke as a spirit floating 12 feet above his body. "I can't believe I lost to that human, I will have my revenge!" said Diablo as he re-entered his body. Picking up the horadaric cube, diablo teleported to Tristram.

"Wow, this place sure has gotten smaller since the last time I was here, I wonder where they put my old church?" Said Diablo as he was walking through the town.

"No one truly knows," Diablo turned around to see a zombie talking to him, "the game creators killed us and shrank our town so there way to get near the area where the old church was."

"Ok, but if the the creators killed you, how can you be walking and talking to me?"

"Beats the shit out of me, my guess is that the creators are insane. I was brought back to kill trespassers by the game creators and the author thought I should talk to you."

"Ok..., I kinda understand but I have one other question, who the hell are you!"

"I was once called Griswold when I was still alive."

"Oh, your that weapon maker, right?" Griswold nods slightly. "Do you have any weapons left?"

"I have one left but it is extremely weak, although i did hear the if you combine it with some tome that it opens a portal to a village with demonic cows."

"Wow, I'll take it," Diablo strikes Griswold with his spiked tail, ripping out a section of his chest.

After a moments thought, "I should have had him tell me what the weapon was so I wouldn't have to search the city," after a few minutes Diablo comes across a dead body with a leg in it's hand. "I uess this could be a weapon," A this point Diablo rips off the hand while trying to get the leg, in anger he sets the body on fire. 


	3. rogue encamptment

disclaimer: i don't own anything in this story

As Diablo entered the rogue encampment, the archers rushed to get ready because it had been so long since they were last needed. Fifty arrows were launced directly at Diablo's vital organs, 5 became stuck in Wirt's Leg and nine bounced off the Horadric Cube,the others burst into flame before they even reached him.

"I will kill you all for that." Diablo pulls the arrows out of Wirt's Leg and hurled them at the nearest archer, each one hitting a different vital organ.

Diablo ran to one of the remaining 7 archers, ripped off the arms and shoved one through the stomach and threw the other into the face of another, seeing the archers about to fire another round, Diablo picked of the 2 he had just killed, using the as shields and ran toward the remaining 5. When he reached the archers he crushed one with the corpses, getting bored, Diablo incinerated the remaining four with his flamethrower type attack.

Walking the walls of the town, Diablo came across Gheed. Seeing how weak Gheed looked, Diablo decided to play baseball using wirt's leg as the bat and Gheed's head as the ball. Swinging the leg as hard as he could, Diablo hit the head directly at Charsi, blowing a huge hole in her stomach.

Heading toward the center of the town, Diablo spotted two more people, one extremely weak and the other partially strong. Pulling out a sword, Kashya lunged at Diablo, catching a glancing blow across his arm, in the confusion Warriv headed toward Akara. Diablo, in retaliation swung his spiked tail at Kashya, hitting her in the stomach and sending her flying over the city wall.

Picking up the sword that Kashya dropped, Diablo threw it, impaling Warriv and Akara through the stomach, pinning them to the wall of Akara's Hut.

Walking into Akara's hut, Diablo immediately finds the tomes he was looking for, picking up one of each type, Diablo steps outside trying to decide which to try. Since red normally represents evil, he chose it. As he puts the leg and the tome of identify into the Horadaric cube, a black portal opens and Diablo steps through. 


End file.
